Even The Tough Stuff Can Be Remedied With Friends

Yesterday, we lost a dear, dear member of our group.  We did not lose a member of the human variety but of the feline variety. While it was not a human who was lost,  it still had (and is currently having) a great impact on those who knew our little friend Maxx. Especially his “mommy” and “daddy”.  It’s amazing the type of bonds that can be created with pets… while it can seem petty or small to greatly mourn the loss of an animal, it really isn’t a small deal at all. They become members of the family. The grief that results when one’s life ends shorter than expected is extremely strong. We all remember Maxx as being the awesome ball of crazy that put a smile on everyone’s face.

However, despite yesterday being extremely difficult on everyone, one thing positively impacted me quite a bit:

Friends. Our entire group of friends assembled last night at their house. We all dropped what we were doing to go and give some encouragement and love to our friends. As Matt and I drove over to their house I cried and Matt talked about Maxx (our opposite coping mechasims: I cry and try to forget, Matt talks and remembers). We arrived at their house, not sure what to expect, and entered into a house full of people. And not only a house full of people, but a house full of laughing people! While the situation was difficult they were able to smile and joke and laugh with everyone. One was even able to provide counsel for a sibling (and hilariously embarass herself in the process! Which provided an AWESOME laugh for all, I might add) Life was going on and friends were there to help the process of grief roll through. And many of us know (some better than others) that when the  numb feeling (which many times accompanies the first stage of grief) creeps over us and settles itself onto our bodies, having friends around creates almost a warm fuzzy feeling for the temporary. Unfortunately, this fuzzy feeling wears off, as does the numbness and we have to let ourselves truly feel the sadness and pain. But having friends around to start the process can make a huge difference and give a kick start to getting through the pain.

Yesterday was a testament to the closeness of our group. Sometimes groups of friends can be shallow and they just hang out to hang out. Our group started out somewhat shallow, as all groups do. There was closeness among members of the group but the group as a whole was not quite to the deep stage. During the past year, however, it’s been taking a turn. The closeness that drew together only certain members of the group has started permeating through the group atmosphere in general. Those that weren’t close to others a year ago are now forming closer bonds. And yesterday proved the depth that exists. The fact that, during the busiest time of year, we were all able to take at least a  2.5 hour chunk of time to spend with each other on a night when nothing was originally planned was huge. It has spoken wonders to me because, unfortunately, I’m not one who always assumes friends will be there when something devastating happens. And that’s not my way of insulting all of my friends… it’s my way of saying that I fear the imperfections of the world and the fact that people, even the closest to us, let us down. So I automatically assume people won’t necessarily be there when I need them. But almost always, they end up being there! And I’m always surprised. (Someday I won’t be surprised anymore… when I get over my perfectionism thing… but that is a post from a previous day and more than likely another day in the future). But to see everyone show up when our friends needed them, proved that we’ve got a good thing going here. And I know it won’t always be the same. It SHOULDN’T always be the same. Stagnancy is never a good thing. But for now, it’s nice to bask in the fact that we’ve got a wonderful, ever-growing group of people to spend time with.

Tonight, the group minus a few members who either weren’t able to get tickets in time or who didn’t desire to see the movie, will be going to see Harry Potter during the midnight showing. I’m getting extremely excited for this. I am an avid Harry Potter fan (a reader not just a movie viewer) and The Deathly Hallows was my favorite book by far. Yet enough time has emassed from when I read the book until now that I don’t think the movie will make me angry like some of the movies have in the past. I’m intrigued… especially because they broke it up into two movies. This hopeully means no choppy story lines! Or at least less of them… But not only am I excited to go to the movie because of what the movie is, I’m also really looking forward to spending a large chunk of time with my friends. I really am an extrovert, especially when we all hang out in this matter. 🙂

So here’s to friends and to Maxx, who’s now chasing an unending amount of foil balls and measuring tape and eating more than his little kitty heart desires.

And then of course, to the  Harry Potter theme music that will be playing loudly throughout a boisterous movie theater in roughly 10.5 hours… but who’s counting? 😉

Mmmm, nougat

The months of October and November are simply lovely. There’s the smell of leaves that are browning and falling which then crunch underneath your feet once they’ve fallen. It starts getting dark at dinner time so the lit candles and low kitchen lighting makes for a very peaceful atmosphere in which to cook. Heating blankets are now acceptable to use… and as a result, kitties are cuddlier. There is no pressure to be outside in the warmth so one can hole up inside and watch tv shows and movies on a Saturday and not feel guilty.

And last but not least: there’s chocolate. Uber and uber amounts of it.

So much joy.

Halloween day my husband and I had a couple we spend a lot of time with over to our house for some laid back friend time. They brought Halloween candy and Matt went out and bought some as well. This candy sat in a big red bowl on our breakfast bar waiting in anticipation for the monsters, whoopie cushion (seriously!), and mustard bottle (yep, it’s true) to show up to claim their loot. That being said, this big red bowl (which was filled and placed at 1 pm) was lonely because of the 4 hours it had to wait to empty itself. And it beckoned to us. It called each of our names one by one until this big red bowl was no longer lonely. Oh no, not lonely at all. It had visitors every few minutes for the entirety of the 4 hours it had to patiently bide it’s time. The result? Very little candy for the whoopie cushion and his friends. By the end of the night of the doorbell ringing, the Grimm Brother’s being paused, and the cat flying up the stairs everytime someone came within 30 feet of our door (he senses these things) the big red bowl had compeltely emptied itself save for a few butterfingers (blech). I was happy about this fact…. no more candy to gorge myself on!! I will have survived Halloween without too much sugar sickness and pounds put on.

Oh, but the thing about the weeks after Halloween is the candy is EVERYWHERE. Everyone is trying to give away their leftover candy… and I’ve even encountered some parents trying to give away the candy their children collected to make sure kiddo’s would sleep and not running on the ceiling! I walked into work on Monday and was immediately faced with a bag of temptation. This bag was sitting smiling at me on the desk where I work. It was a bag of horror and of dread. I say this melodramatically because of what this bag contained. This bag didn’t just contain candy. It contained chocolately, caramel, nougat. I’ll illustrate this bag for you.

Bag of dread and horror.

Those three chocolate  bars you see there happen to be my weakness. They are the candy I avoid at Halloween to save my stomach, my head, and my sanity. You see, when these candy bars are around I lose all sense of “good idea bad idea” and become a hand to mouth being. Candy bar enters hand, brain wonders “well, how did that get there?” and candy bar is inserted into mouth. This happens as many times as possible while they are sitting in front of me.

Luckily, the calorie cutting i’ve been doing for over a year now has increased my self-control and I’ve been able to sit here for 2 hours and only have 1 milky way bar. Woah! I’m now self-talking myself out of a 3 Musketeers Bar reminding myself that I have to fit into a bridesmaid dress in December that will not fit if I gorge myself on candy.

It’s proving to be quite difficult because nougat might possibly be one of my favorite substances on the planet. It’s so fluffy and delicious…. must not eat 3 Musketeers… must not… mmmmmmmm

Well, the chocolate that may or may not be on my face at the time being is in dire need of getting wiped away and the bag of doom with it’s oh-so-innocent seductively sweet smile must be forced into isolation in a place where I can pretend that it’s not. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day 😉

My little dude – aka the townhouse beastie

Here are some accounts of my little critter 🙂 Compliments of my awesome new toy.

I got a Droid Incredible this past weekend and I love it. I told my husband I was in love. He was sad that I found another love. I assured him we’re okay… he’s a close second 😉

Naw. Just kidding. I love my husband more of course but I really am enjoying this thing.

Enjoy the videos of my little sir.

This first one shows the sarcasm and humor of my cat….

 

This one shows his love of climbing inside anything he can…

 

And this one illustrates his love of twistie ties…